What Planning a Wedding is Teaching Me

Garden wedding mood board

At first I really enjoyed planning a wedding. Time was mostly spent browsing Pinterest and reading wedding magazines, getting excited talking about all of the things we could do. Also because we were having a 2.5 year engagement, the pressure was truly off.

Half way through, the planning picked up as we booked our venue, caterers and I started trying on wedding dresses. It was still fun but we also began to realise just how expensive all of these things were. (All I can say is, thank you so much to our families for their generosity and help)!

And now with a month to go, I suddenly feel more pressure as the wedding is always at the back of my mind. There is a tiny little voice in my head that constantly asks; Did I pay that invoice? Did I reply to that email? What do I still need to do? How much money is left? Did we make the right decision on this? Have I forgotten something? Why is my eye twitching?

As someone who works in PR and is used to planning events, I have found it really interesting how different it is actually planning a wedding and also, what I have learnt about myself in the process.

So for any other brides-to-be or for anyone who is just interested, here is what planning a wedding is teaching me:

Greenwich engagement shoot

About Myself

I push things away.

This is something that surprised me as at work I have no problem tackling a big to-do list and rarely get daunted by one. However when it comes to the wedding and I look at all of the tasks involved, I am guilty of repeatedly putting them off and pushing away the stress for another day. To be fair, it is exhausting having to think about logistics after coming from a long day at work followed by a long commute but sometimes, you just gotta suck it up and get on with it.

I don’t like commitment.

OK, not the exact phrase that my husband-to-be would like to hear (!) but I have learnt that when it comes to making decisions and handing over money, I often get cold feet. Even if it is something I have been wanting the whole way through, as soon as it comes to committing, I suddenly doubt myself, wonder whether it is the best choice and back out. Definitely not the most productive way of working, so now once I have found something, I pass it over to Marc to confirm the rest. (Thanks Marc!)

 I give myself a hard time.

I think because we have had such a long time to plan this wedding and because part of my job involves creative events, I have put a lot of pressure on myself to create a really distinctive, beautiful, unique wedding. But of course budget is always an issue and it is also hard to think of something that hasn’t already been done before, so I am trying to stop beating myself up and accept that no one will be judging as it will be everyone we love and will be a happy day whatever happens.

About The Planning

Accept help!

Because of popular culture, I thought it was my duty as the bride-to-be to organise every part of the wedding and take complete ownership of it. But the reality is that it is a big task with so many little details (and emails) that go along with it. As soon as I started passing things over to (a very willing) Marc, it became instantly less stressful and a lot more fun.

Planning over the summer is great.

Lighter evenings have made it easier to be productive after work and easier for me to get out and do my fitness classes without lugging around coats/umbrellas/boots etc.

A dedicated wedding venue can be super helpful.

Back when we were trying to decide which wedding venue to choose, I was looking at all options, including a DIY village hall style. In the end we went for a dedicated wedding venue and even though it brings some restrictions (like having to choose from a list of suppliers instead of bringing your own food truck), generally it has made the process much easier, with staff on hand to advise and answer questions and suppliers who are completely used to working there.

Accept that it can’t always be like the weddings you see on Pinterest.

Pinterest is a great source of inspiration but it is also the cause of much of my stress! There are so many great ideas but it’s hard to choose between them all, especially when faced with a budget and – it turns out – no creative DIY skills whatsoever. So my advice would be to choose one or two elements that you really love, for example, we loved the idea of having a vintage barrel bar and invested in that.

Book your registrar early!

I wish someone had told us about this as registrars can get booked up really far in advance! I ended up booking 6 months beforehand and there was just one person who was available and we were incredibly lucky that the only time slot they could do was the exact time that we needed them.

Hatton Garden is a great place to buy wedding rings

The amount of independent jewellers in Hatton Garden can be a bit overwhelming but the great thing is that you can get lots of different quotes and haggle until you find wedding rings that fit your style and budget. Even the more expensive jewellers that we visited here ended up being cheaper than the high street!

Sometimes e-invites are best!

We liked the classic element of sending out a paper invite but if truth be told, managing the RSVPs was a bit of a nightmare! Some people did as instructed and emailed the correct email address, while others gave verbal answers, messages over Whatsapp, Facebook messages – the list goes on. So if budgets are tight for you or you are considering sending out an e-invite that people can reply directly to, I would say go for it my friend.

 

And there we have it! Have any other brides-to-be, wives or husbands got any advice or tips they want to share about their wedding day? Please leave a comment below if so, I’d love to hear from you!

And if you want to find out more about Marc and my relationship, you can visit the post below:

Being Young in a Long Distance Relationship

2 Comments

  1. Emma
    August 3, 2017 / 10:40 am

    Hi Steph

    Matt and I got married in April this year after a 9 month engagement. Through the process I learnt that you need to:
    STAY TRUE TO YOU – We only wanted an intimate wedding day but with a large family this was difficult. We managed to stay true to what we wanted without caving into the pressure. It was tough and caused a lot of stress. Some of the dynamics have changed in the family and will take time heal. A friend told me “in 10 years who is still going to remember your wedding day?” It is so true. We will, but not necessarily cousin Tracy.

    YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE

    DON’T GET LOST IN THE DETAIL – An example of this for me was getting lost in what colour swatches to go with for the ties as they looked so different in certain lights, and going into craft and stationary shops to find the right colour and texture card… haha

    IT IS ONE DAY – how many other days of the year do you spend this amount and time and effort on. We never looked at the wedding with “best day of our lives” approach. To be honest I did not want to try and live up to that pressure. Instead, it was going to be a memorable day with those closest to us.

    DON’T BUY INTO THE HYPE – I felt this pressure of ‘buying into the hype’ when it came to the honeymoon, of going to some exotic destination. Initially we booked flights to go to Australia, but we ended up cancelling and instead had two nights in the Cotswolds which was perfect for us.

    DON’T COMPARE – Every couple is unique, every wedding will be. Don’t compare your day to someone else’s. Ever.

    Most importantly ENJOY IT!

    Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness, love and laughter.
    E x

    • Steph
      August 6, 2017 / 6:42 pm

      Emma,

      Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS on your marriage!! (And hats off to you for pulling it together in 9 months!) Hope you are enjoying your first months as husband and wife 🙂

      Secondly, thanks so much for your words of advice, it is so lovely of you to take the time to write that message. I actually completely agree with you on everything, especially what you said about not bowing to the pressure of it being ‘the best day of your life’. It should hopefully be one of many!

      Steph xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *